“Cabin Crew, please prepare for gate departure. Flight attendants, doors on automatic, cross-check and report. Thank you.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the Fasten Seat Belt sign. If you haven’t already done so, please stow your carry-on luggage underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. Please take your seat and fasten your seat belt. And also make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full upright position.”

Ladies and gentleman, this is your Captain speaking. We are wheels up and proceeding to our destination. The aircraft will be at full cruising altitude shortly. For your convenience, news of improved transparency has been placed in your seat back cover. Please review the latest RIGH press release on the OTC Markets leaflet for more information. We will check back with you shortly once we have reached our desired altitude for travel.

( note to self: time for a new metaphor soon. )